Saturday, May 30, 2015

How To Tell If You Are In A High Fantasy Novel

Bawahahaha!!! I saw this at a site I found not long ago called WRITEWORLD, lol. Thought I'd share. :) Hell, a lot of this could be applied to Scifi too!
~M






How To Tell If You Are In A High Fantasy Novel

[via The Toast]



· The Elders would like a word with you.

· The Ritual is about to begin.

· Something that has not happened in a thousand years is happening.

· You are going to the City. There is only one City. It is only said with a capital C. No one needs to bother saying the name of the City. It is the City.

· Certain members of the Council are displeased with your family’s recent actions.

· A bard is providing occasional comic relief; no one hired or invited him and his method of earning a living is unclear.

· The High Priest is not to be trusted.

· Someone is eating an apple mockingly.

· There is one body of water. It is called the Sea. The Great Sea, if you are feeling fancy.

· You live in a region with no major exports, no centralized government, no banking system, a mysteriously maintained network of roads, and little to no job training for anyone who is not a farmer.

· You have red hair. You wear it in a braid. Your father was a simple man, and you don’t remember much about him – he died when you were so young – but you remember his strong hands, as he fished or carpentered or whatever it was that he used to do with them.

· You’re going to have to hurry, or you’re going to miss the Fair – and you never miss the Fair.

· There is trouble at the Citadel.

· Your full name has at least one apostrophe in it.

· It is the first page, and you are already late for something. Your mother affectionately chides you as you gulp down a few spoonfuls of porridge; she will be dead by page forty-two.

· There are two religions in your entire universe. One is a thinly veiled version of Islam. It is only practiced by villains. The other is “being a Viking.” You are a Viking.

· There are new ways in the land that threaten the Old Way. Your grandmother secretly practices the Old Way, as do all of the people of the hills.

· The real trouble began the day you arrived at court. Every last nobleman hides a viper in his smile. How you long for the purity of life in your village, which is currently on fire or something.



cheshirelibrary: How To Tell If You Are In A High Fantasy Novel

Source: cheshirelibrary

2 comments:

  1. Oh My God! That's hysterical! BAHAHAHAHA!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lol!

    At first I thought the title was How to tell if YOU'RE high in a fantasy novel-- no comment. Nope. None.

    ReplyDelete