Monday, May 29, 2017

Cover Reveal for Texting, AutoCorrect, and a Prius at MM Good Book Review and a Giveaway!


I'm at MM Good Book Reviews showing off my shiny new cover lol. Stop by there for an exclusive excerpt and a chance to win a book from my backlist: 



Release date: 28th June 2017
Pre-order: https://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/books/texting-autocorrect-and-a-prius-by-ma-church-8590-b




Blurb:
Clay McDonald finds the perfect car on Craigslist and is quick to send the seller a text:

Is your penis still for sale?

AutoCorrect strikes again. Damn—he should’ve proofread. How embarrassing.

Luckily Darrell Anderson, a mechanic and the owner of the Prius, is more amused than offended, and the two men agree to meet. When they do, the attraction is instant, and a date is arranged. But a series of mishaps, misunderstandings, and misplaced assumptions sorely test the new relationship.

In a contemporary romantic comedy about the perils of technology and dating in the modern world, a text that went so wrong might just lead to something so right—but only if Clay can refrain from jumping to conclusions and give love the benefit of the doubt.



Excerpt:

“SO WHAT now?”
“Like I know,” Darrell said, frowning. He sipped his soda, continuing to stare. “I… I’m not sure what to do with her.”
“She’s certainly not much to look at.” Bert stood next to Darrell, his arms crossed and his nose wrinkled. “Not my type at all.”
“No argument there.” Darrell ran a hand through his hair. “And no, not my type either. I like them more….” He rotated his hips, then thrust them hard. “You know… rough and tumble.”
Bert uncrossed his arms to scratch his head. “She’s pretty plain. Did you get her to stop all of those annoying noises?”
“Lord, it took forever, but yeah, I finally got them all. I don’t know if she was worth all that work, though.” Darrell lifted his soda to take another swig, but Bert stole the can from him. “Fucker, give me back my drink.”
Snickering, Bert held the can away from Darrell. “It’s the last Coke! The last one. All’s that left is Dr Pepper, and ewww, you know I hate Dr Pepper. Don’t be a bitch.”
Darrell grabbed his crotch. “Got your bitch.”
“You talk to our mother with that mouth?” Bert held the can and took a long, slow sip of the soda, then smacked his lips when he finished.
Darrell glared as Bert drank half of the soda. “Right, like she hasn’t heard worse out of you.”
Bert plastered on his best innocent expression. “Who, me?”
“You forget I work with you, so don’t try that crap with me. You’d make a sailor blush.”
“Pot, meet kettle.”
“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”
Darrell groaned. Good Lord, they sounded like kids again. It was so easy to drop back into bad habits with his brother. “The only reason you get away with it is because you’re the baby of the family.”
“And Mom likes me more.”
Darrell thought about swatting the Coke can out of Bert’s hand, but he’d be the one cleaning up the mess. “Whatever, man.”
“Snappy comeback there, bro.”
Mom didn’t like Bert better, but he did get away with more. That was the truth. Bert, whose full name was actually Robert, had been a preemie, and as such, their mom acted like he was breakable. He wasn’t… because when they were teenagers, Darrell certainly tried to break him a time or two. The little shit was still alive and kicking.
“Bite me,” Darrell tossed back.
Darrell was the oldest at forty-three. Next came Henry, who was forty-one. He’d married his high school sweetheart, Missy, and moved to the West Coast for an unbelievable job several years ago. Their two-year-old daughter kept them busy. Finally there was Bert, who was thirty-nine, and even though he was a preemie at birth, he was now as healthy as a horse.
“Sad.” Bert shook his head. “Just sad. That’s the best you got? Must be getting old.”
“Uh-huh. I’ll remember that. Now, you think she needs any parts replaced?”
“Don’t they all?” Bert quipped.
Darrell huffed. “No idea since I’m not the one into pussy. Damn, she could probably use a good waxing too.”
Bert groaned. “Ah man, I want no part of that.”
“But….” Darrell grinned, warming up to the idea after seeing how resistant Bert was. “Think how much better she’ll look. You’d be perfect for the job.”
Bert rolled his eyes, huffed, then took a long swig of Coke. “This is because I took your Coke, isn’t it? Or was it the age joke?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I hate you,” Bert whined.
Darrell smirked. Oh yeah, this was perfect revenge. Maybe next time Bert would keep his paws off Darrell’s soda. As far as age went, Bert wasn’t that much younger. “How much do you think we can get for her?”
Bert strolled around the shiny Classic Silver Metallic Prius. “Do you want a good price, or do you want to get enough to cover the bill the owner stuck you with?”
“He’s no longer the owner, and all I’m interested in is getting enough to cover what the jackass owes me,” Darrell said.
Bert nodded. “Gotcha. Okay, let me check the Blue Book and see what they go for. We have the title, right?”
“Yep. I slapped a lien on the car when the guy didn’t pay the bill, refused to commit to a payment plan, and basically told me to go get fucked. I was able to keep the car as collateral. She’s all mine, free and clear.”
“Okay, then.” Bert rubbed his hands together as he stared at the little compact car. “Give me a day or two to get some sort of idea what to ask for her. Let’s try to sell her on Craigslist. What do you think about that?”
“Sounds fine.”
“Well, since you’re the boss, I’m going to put your cell phone as the contact number. You’re going to need to keep the ugly little prissy thing at your house.”
“Wait, why do I have to be the one to garage it?” Darrell complained.
“Didn’t you hear the boss comment? Plus you’re the eldest. As luck would have it, my garage is full of a bunch of crap. Remember? I’m having new floors laid this week, so I can’t keep the Prius at my house. I don’t have time to deal with a bunch of people wanting to check the car out while I got that going on.”
“Oh, and I do? Okay, fine.” Darrell held up his hand to stall the argument blossoming. “I’ll take it. Just so happens I have plenty of room in my garage.” Then Darrell glared as he took one last look at the car. “Damn thing has been nothing but trouble. Oh, and Bert?”
“Yeah?”
“I hate you too.” Satisfied he got the last word, he swung his arm around Bert’s shoulders and led him out of the shop. “Come on, I’ll buy you a beer.”
“If I have to wax that thing, that’s the least you’re going to do, trust me.”





Friday, May 26, 2017

DsP is Celebrating Year 6 authors


Celebrating Year 6 authors with 10 eBooks for $1 each until May 26 at 11:59 PM ET. Titles by Eli Easton, Brandon Witt, Skylar Cates, Lex Chase, Cate Ashwood, MA Church, Charlie Cochet, Grace R. Duncan, Con Riley, j. leigh bailey http://bit.ly/2rF8ZMT

Friday, May 19, 2017

Finicky Friday - Pizza Waffles

Pizza Waffles
Hey everyone, time for Finicky Friday!





 Prep Time 5 minutes
 Cook Time 5 minutes
 Total Time 10 minutes 
Servings 4 Pizza Waffles


Ingredients

1 package crescent rolls (8 pieces)

1 1/3 cup mozzarella cheese

pepperoni (or your favorite pizza toppings)

pizza sauce for dipping



Instructions

Preheat waffle iron and spray with cooking spray.

Unroll crescent rolls. You will have 8 triangles. Pinch seams to connect 2 triangles so you form 4 rectangles.

Place 1/3 cup mozzarella cheese and pepperoni in each rectangle. Fold over and pinch to seal all sides. Repeat with remaining sections.

Place each piece of dough on the preheated waffle iron. Close and cook 5 minutes or until browned.
Serve warm with pizza sauce for dipping.


Friday, May 12, 2017

Finicky Friday - Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeno Poppers

Bacon-Wrapped Jalapeno Poppers


Hey everyone, time for Finicky Friday again! Better than the typical poppers. A friend of mine made these last weekend, and they were fabulous!


6 servings
213 cals
Prep 15 m
Cook 15 m
Ready In 30 m


Ingredients

1/2 cup cream cheese

1/2 cup shredded sharp Cheddar cheese

12 jalapeno peppers, halved lengthwise, seeds and membranes removed

12 slices bacon


Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil.

2. Mix cream cheese and Cheddar cheese together in a bowl until evenly blended. Fill each jalapeno half with the cheese mixture. Put halves back together and wrap each stuffed pepper with a slice of bacon. Arrange bacon-wrapped peppers on the prepared baking sheet.

3. Bake in the preheated oven until bacon is crispy, about 15 minutes.



Footnotes

Aluminum foil helps keep food moist, ensures it cooks evenly, keeps leftovers fresh, and makes clean-up easy.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Finicky Friday - Cheesy Vegetable Bake



Cheesy Vegetable Bake

Hey everyone, time for Finicky Friday again!




  • Makes: 12 servings
  • Serving Size: 1/2cup
  • Carb Grams Per Serving: 10


Ingredients:

  •  Nonstick cooking spray

  •  2 16 - ounce package frozen broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots, thawed and rinsed*

  •  1 12 - ounce can evaporated fat-free milk

  •  1/4 cup finely chopped onion

  •  2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

  •  2 cloves garlic, minced

  •  1/4 teaspoon black pepper

  •  3/4 cup shredded reduced-fat sharp cheddar cheese (3 ounces)

  •  1/2 8 - ounce package reduced-fat cream cheese (Neufchatel), cut up and softened

  •  2/3 cup soft whole wheat bread crumbs (1 slice)

  •  2 tablespoons snipped fresh parsley and/or snipped fresh basil (optional)



Directions:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Coat a 2-quart square baking dish with cooking spray. Arrange thawed vegetables in the baking dish. Set aside.

In a medium saucepan, whisk together evaporated milk, onion, flour, garlic, and pepper. Cook and stir over medium heat until thickened and bubbly. Remove from heat. Add cheddar cheese and cream cheese, whisking until melted and smooth.

Pour cheese mixture evenly over vegetables. Toss gently to coat vegetables with sauce. Sprinkle with bread crumbs. Lightly coat crumbs with additional cooking spray.
 
Bake for 40 to 45 minutes or until mixture is bubbly and crumbs are lightly browned. Let stand for 5 minutes before serving. If desired, sprinkle with parsley and/or basil. Makes 12 servings (about 1/2 cup each).


Tip
  • *Test Kitchen Tip: Thaw vegetables overnight in the refrigerator or place vegetables in a large colander. Run cool water over vegetables. Let stand for 15 minutes to drain.



Nutrition Facts Per Serving:

Servings Per Recipe: 12



PER SERVING: 

104 cal.

4 g total fat (2 g sat. fat)

13 mg chol., 163 mg sodium

10 g carb. (2 g fiber, 6 g sugars

7 g pro.



Tuesday, May 2, 2017

DsP Celebrate Romance RT Sale - From May 2 to 7



Celebrate Romance RT Sale - From May 2 to 7. The entire store will be on sale for 30% off. (Sale is set to begin and end based on Eastern Daylight Time.)

My DsP page: https://www.dreamspinnerpress.com/authors/ma-church-525

Monday, May 1, 2017

Riding the Tide (book #2 in the Deep Blue Sea series) - rerelease in KU!






Blurb: 

*Second Edition Release. The content and author have not changed.*


Caught between two worlds—what’s a merman to do?

Marcus Krill, a creature of the sea, is a perfectly content bachelor. Mating someone? No thank you. Living anywhere but in the ocean? Ha! Not happening. Spending more than the barest necessity of time on land? Nope. Not this merman. And humans? They’re perfectly fine as a diversion, but that’s all. They might be interesting, but complications follow them like a hungry shark during a feeding frenzy. So what if he’s a little lonely? A little tired of one-night stands? That doesn’t mean he’s ready to mate. Not him.

Blair Estes, a creature of land, is perfectly happy with his nomadic lifestyle. No strings keep him tied to any one place long. Adventure is his lover and adrenaline his master. He loves to travel, and the things he’d seen—things that defy description. Now his wandering has brought him to the Seychelle islands and a mysterious merman who’s going to take him on the journey of a lifetime.

Once again merfolk and human culture collide in an explosion of passion and… fear.




Excerpt: 
“Does it matter if he has money or not?” Nisha asked.
Kannon sipped his coffee. “It might in the sense that if he’s a multimillionaire—which I can’t imagine how he could be at his age—his name would be well-known. If he is indeed Marcus’ mate—”
“I think I would know if he’s my mate or not—”
“If he is,” Kannon continued, “it’s going to be really hard for him to just up and disappear.”
“You didn’t disappear,” Marcus pointed out.
“No, I didn’t. But Nisha’s okay with spending part of his time on land. You rarely come ashore. That could seriously be a problem.” Kannon then looked at Nisha. “Anyway, on another note… I guess that answers the question of whether you guys are the only non-humans around. A jaguar shifter. I’d loved to have seen that.”
“I don’t know that you would. From what Blair said, it was a frightening experience.” Marcus remembered how Blair’s voice trembled. That shifter wanted to claim Blair, and that sent a jealous rage burning through him. The idea of someone, or something, claiming what was his infuriated him.
“So he handled knowing what you are without freaking out.” Nisha pursed his lips. “That’s good. That’s really good and one less worry. I’m assuming you haven’t tackled the subject of who he is to you yet, have you?”
“No. I figured I’d already dumped one life-altering event in his lap, it might be better to wait on the other one.” Marcus sipped his coffee again. “Which brings me to exactly why I showed up on your doorstep this morning. It wasn’t because I needed to tell you I found my mate.”
Kannon elbowed Nisha. “Right. The mate you said you never wanted. Wasn’t that you? Weren’t you the one who said he was never getting mated? Never.”
Marcus glared at Kannon. “Shut up.”
Kannon flashed Marcus an evil smile and hummed the wedding march under his breath.
“Can you do something with him?” Marcus pleaded to Nisha.
“I’ve already been threatened with the couch once in this conversation.” Nisha shrugged. “You’re on your own.”
“Will you please stop that infernal sound?” Marcus ordered.
Kannon hooted. “Oh, that’s funny considering some of the sounds I’ve heard coming out of you guys.”
“I’m ignoring you.” Marcus informed Kannon before turning his attention to Nisha. “Anyway, Blair’s my mate. And… I might’ve asked him out on a date for tonight.”
Both Nisha and Kannon blinked. Finally, Nisha spoke. “O-okay. Not sure why you seem so hesitant. Where are you taking him?”
“Sandals. It just so happens Blair is staying at Brett’s resort.”
“That’s good,” Kannon said. “I’ll get in contact with Brett and get you guys a nice table in an out-of-the-way spot for tonight. Well, I would if I wasn’t being ignored.”
Marcus relented and finally looked at Kannon. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Oh yeah.” Kannon smiled. “You better believe it.”
Marcus released the most put upon sigh he could muster. “Fine! I’m not ignoring you. There. Happy?”
“Hmm, could’ve used a little bit more of abject misery in that, but fine. I’ll call Brett,” Kannon said.
“Thank you. I appreciate that. But that still isn’t why I’m here,” Marcus said.
“Stop dragging it out and tell us already,” Nisha said.
“I don’t… I need something to wear tonight.” Marcus wrinkled his nose. “Something appropriate.”
Kannon snickered. “Hmm, is now a good time to point out if you had an aboveground dwelling—”
“I’m never having an aboveground dwelling.”
“Un-huh, keep telling yourself that. For right now let’s focus on your clothing, or the lack thereof.” Kannon scratched his head. “What do you do when you go trolling?”
“Huh?”
“Oh, good grief.”
“What?”
“When you’re out looking to dip your wick. Wanting to bump uglies. You know… do the horizontal hula? Playing on all fours. Sinking the sausage. Bedroom rodeo.”
“Are you even speaking English?” asked Marcus asked, bewildered.
“Jesus. When you’re looking for someone to fuck. Is that plain enough for you?” Kannon demanded.
“You’re a very strange individual, do you know that?” Marcus asked.
“Me? Oh that’s funny.”